Vulnerability; the truest way to human connection

"Even if it were granted that insurances against heartbreak were our highest wisdom, does God Himself offer them? Apparently not. Christ comes, at last, to say “Why hast thou forsaken me?” There is no escape along the lines St. Augustine suggests. Nor along any other lines. There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable." - Excerpt from four letters of Love by C.S Lewis

Vulnerability can be hard. It’s more like putting yourself in a position whereby you can be hurt; hoping that you won’t. The reality behind vulnerability is that we all yearn for connection, but we are waiting for someone else to make the first move. 

It’s in being open that we find a genuine connection. Against the popular assumption that vulnerability is likened to being weak; it takes a lot of strength and courage to be vulnerable, knowing the risk that comes with it. I used to live with the go through it alone mentality, but with time I got to understand the hard way that I was not made to do life alone. Even Jesus had disciples. 

For true connections in relationships, be transparent. That’s how beautiful relationships are built. It can be scary to go all out with people that we want to give them controlled attention and pretend like we don't care much to avoid being hurt. It is important to understand that we can’t do life in solitary. We all need people.

However, it can draw people away if you go deep too soon. Before you go deep with people get to know them and if after that you are willing to take the friendship to a deeper level, start having deep conversations. If the person is willing, he/she will open up about their vulnerabilities too. If they don’t; don’t force it. The friendship might not be ripe: you need to give them time or it may be time to find new friends.

This is not to excuse the fact that even with this sometimes you might still come across some persons that may take advantage of your vulnerability. But it’s on them. God can be trusted. Man can disappoint. The more reason you need to allow God to guide you as you choose persons to be open with. 

By being open you know that you are not alone and it gives you the courage to cry out for help when you need it without the fear of being judged. As a believer, the reason for vulnerability is best achieved when you are vulnerable with your breed. Believers. An unbeliever can’t help you go through the struggles you have as a believer. 

Vulnerability helps you to be accountable. And for me, that’s one of the utmost goals of being open with people. It’s for them to keep you accountable and also hold your hands.

On some days I want to bottle up my emotions and deal with my struggles on my own because I never want to seem like a burden to people.  But I assure you that when you find genuine friendships it would never seem as though you are a burden to people and they would love you regardless of your weaknesses.

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